


A New Understanding

by Summer Rain (Zeram)



Category: The Sentinel
Genre: Angst, Drama, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-10
Updated: 2013-05-10
Packaged: 2017-12-11 03:36:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,434
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/793565
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zeram/pseuds/Summer%20Rain
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Blair engineers a little time alone for Jim and his Captain.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A New Understanding

## A New Understanding

By Summer Rain

Author's homepage: <http://www.geocities.com/TelevisionCity/Studio/3772/Sentinel.html>

Author's disclaimer: Characters depicted in this story belong to Pet Fly Productions and I make no claim to them. No monetary units have exchanged hands for the story, its simply a story written by a fan for the enjoyment of other fans. Peace. 

* * *

Jim stood on the balcony, looking out over the city. His city. He smiled to himself at the thought, the proprietary sound of it. 

He was after all "SENTINEL OF THE GREAT CITY!", capital letters and all. Sometimes...such as today, he preferred to be "jim, regular joe public", no caps, no exclamation point...no title. Just a regular guy. 

Was it too much to ask? 

He looked back into the apartment, smiling at some of the clutter that Blair had left behind as he had rushed to school in the morning. 

Yes it was too much. He had an obligation to his city to protect them, to his friends and most of all to his Guide. He had lost him once in this lifetime, he wasn't willing to lose him again by ignoring his duties as protector. 

But he was just so tired. 

If only he didn't have to be on guard all the time. There were very few people and very few times recently where he had considered that possible. He used to be that way with Blair but even that possibility was gone. He couldn't seem to relax completely, senses on full alert making sure nothing could harm his partner again. 

He ignored the small voice inside his head that pointed out another person he had been able to share unguarded moments with. That was a double-edged sword and brought its own issues and problems that needed to be dealt with. And he wasn't sure he was up to it. Jim smiled again at the inadvertent pun, frowning immediately when he thought of what the other person's reaction would be to the direction Jim's thoughts were taking. 

Not that it mattered, the person would never know. 

_I wonder where he is tonight?_ He thought to himself, before quickly clamping down on his thoughts. Not willing to once again let his thoughts travel down the long winding path of his musings on unrequited love. 

_Love, Jim? Who are you kidding? Lust perhaps..._

He sighed as he turned away from the balcony rail and headed back inside the apartment. Who was he kidding indeed. He had gone far beyond lust a long time ago. He had been safe then. Lust had been controllable. Love on the other hand... Love was a dangerous thing, especially of the object of your affections was someone who never in a million years would think of you in those terms. 

He crossed over to the sofa and sat down heavily, staring into space ahead of him. His visions once again snagged on one of Blair's items he had left scattered on the coffee table. 

Blair. How he wished he could talk to his partner. Ask his advice. But he couldn't. He didn't even know how he would begin the conversation. Not to mention that Blair had enough of his own issues he was dealing with at the moment without adding Jim's concerns to the stack. 

"Well Blair" he began, addressing his partner's notebook which sat on the coffee table , "looks like I'm going to have to go back the old time trick. Repress. Repress. Repress." He chuckled wryly and let his head fall back against the sofa and closed his eyes. 

He sat there quietly for a few minutes, 'finding his center' as Blair would say. The silence of the loft acted as a balm on his nerves. Despite his efforts his thoughts again geared towards that much beloved face. __And_ body_ he thought to himself, smirking slightly. 

He chuckled softly as the scent of a cigar tickled his nose. "Get a grip Jim. You're even imaging that you are smelling the man's cigar" he muttered to himself. He shot up from his relaxed position on the sofa as it hit him that a steady heartbeat accompanied the scent of the cigar. He could also hear the heavy tread of his Captain right out in the hall. That forceful way Simon had of walking, that the Sentinel could easily discern. 

Jim took a hesitant step towards the door, not yet trusting that it wasn't his imagination playing tricks on him. The knock on the door though was proof that Simon was really there. He doubted that he would be imagining the steady heartbeat and the scent of Simon's brand of cigar. 

He swung open the door, startling Simon who had just been placing the unlit cigar back into his pocket. He grinned at the almost accusing glare that Simon gave him, knowing the other man would love nothing more than to light up, but would never do so in Jim's presence given his sensitive nose. 

"Sir?" _What the fuck? Did I just _squeek?__ Jim thought, horrified to think he may have done exactly that. _And why not Jimbo? If he knew what you had been thinking about not more than 10 minutes ago he would surely take you down...and not the way you want him to either_

If Simon heard the change in pitch he made no comment, he simply stood at the door looking at Jim expectantly. After about a minute of this it finally occurred to Jim that he should step aside and allow his friend to enter the apartment. 

"Um, to what do I owe the pleasure Simon?" he asked as his friend entered. 

"Blair called me, said you wanted to talk to me about something" Simon answered turning to face his friend. 

Jim was flustered for a moment since his gaze had fallen to what Simon might consider an inappropriate level. He began talking quickly to cover it up. 

"I don't know what he could have been referring to Simon" he responded honestly confused. "You know Sandburg, sometimes..." Jim's reply was cut off by the ringing of a cell phone. "Excuse me" Jim said, turning slightly as he answered the phone. 

"Ellison" 

"So, is he there yet?" 

Jim blinked at the familiar voice coming over the line, _What the..._ "San..." 

"Ah, ah don't say my name! You don't want him to know it's me do you?" 

"What are you..." Jim growled as he was cut off again. 

"That only required a yes or no answer Jim" the younger man responded, laughing outright as he imagined Jim's frustration at that. "Jim, all you need to do is say yes or no. Okay?" 

"Wh..." 

"Jim!" 

"Yes" Jim said sighing as he rolled his eyes at the laugh he heard on the other side. 

"Okay. Is Simon there?" 

"Yes." 

"Is he sitting down yet?" 

"No." 

"Did the dinner that I ordered arrive yet?" 

"Nooo" Jim said slowly, wondering what the heck was going on. 

"Does Simon still have his coat on?" 

"Yes" Jim said, after glancing over to check. 

"Tsk, tsk, moving slow, man. Does he look like he's in a good mood?" 

"Yes." Jim answered feeling like a recording at this point. 

"Good. So tonight you'll tell him you love him right?" 

"Yes...wait! What?!?" Jim sputtered into the phone. 

"Oh Come on man...I'm your partner. Did you really think I wouldn't notice all those looks you were giving Simon lately, every time we were within leering distance?" His Guide asked incredulously. 

"Uh...yes" Jim ventured. 

"Ha, I'm a trained observer Jim and what I have observed is that you have fallen hard and I don't think he's too far behind. So, dinner is on its way, you just need to provide the conversation. I've a friends house to stay over in, just in case the conversation gets... _stimulating_" Blair added. 

Jim didn't need to see him to know that he was smirking. The ringing of the doorbell cut off further conversation. 

"That must be the food, see ya later Big Guy. Good luck! And give Simon a kiss for me" Blair added, laughing loudly when Jim answered with a 'Yes' before signing off. 

Jim answered the door stepping aside to let the delivery woman in. He found the food had already been paid for, the only thing left to do was set it at the table. 

"Care to join me Simon?" he asked, motioning at the food. 

Simon looked at him curiously as if wondering at the impromptu feast before them, but nodded and sat down. They sat quietly for a few moments neither one making a move towards the food before Jim jumped back up to into the kitchen. He didn't miss another curious look on Simon's face at his nervous movement. 

"Something to drink Simon? I've got juice..." he trailed off not wanting to offer Simon any beer or wine, feeling as if they both needed to be level headed for what the night might bring. 

"Juice is fine" Simon answered before shaking his head in bewilderment. "You never answered Jim, what was it that you needed to see me about? Is something wrong?" 

"No..I just...there's just been a lot going on with me lately Simon and I guess Blair thought we needed to talk about it" he answered, aware that he was being cryptic in his response but he honestly couldn't think of what to say. _I'm in love with you and my roommate is playing matchmaker? Somehow he didn't think he would survive Simon's response to that_

Jim brought the juice over to the table and sat down to begin dinner. It was a somewhat tense affair, as expectation filled the air. Each watched the other man covertly, trying to figure out what was going on between them. At one point their hands brushed accidentally and Jim's soft inhalation of breath brought Simon's gaze to him at the same moment that Jim looked up. Their gazes locked Jim watched as Simon's eyes widened in awareness. He tensed momentarily, awaiting the other man's reaction. Simon's thumb brushed against his, this time deliberately as Simon watched for his reaction. 

"We need to talk" Jim said softly. Their gazes remained locked for a moment more before Simon nodded, withdrawing his hand. By unspoken agreement they resumed the meal, stealing glances at each other all the while waiting for the tension to lessen. 

They stood slowly from the table, recognizing that their attempt at stalling for the upcoming conversation was useless. 

They moved over to the living room area. Jim motioned towards the couch nervously, watching as Simon sat down. He himself was too nervous to sit down and moved over to stand in front of the door to the balcony, looking out briefly over the skyline. 

"We're in trouble here, aren't we?" 

The query brought Jim around to face his friend. He gave a bark of laughter to see Simon rubbing at his eyes underneath his glasses. A sure sign that he was frustrated, Jim's own clenched fists hinted at his own nervousness. 

"I think that could be an understatement Simon." He said softly as he headed back over to the couch. He sat down on the opposite end and leaned forward, elbows on his knees, and face in his hands. He resisted the pull he felt from the other man. Simon wasn't touching him, but nonetheless he felt as if he were being drawn closer to him. 

"I feel like..." the words cut off with what sounded like a growl. "I want to...I don't know what I want!" 

"And that's the problem isn't it?" Jim queried in answer to Simon's frustrated exclamation. He glanced over as he felt the other man shift closer on the couch and lean in slightly. 

"Jim, I've never imagined that you would be interested in me. When I first met you..you had such a chip on your shoulder. I thought you hated me." Simon smiled at the answering chuckle from his friend. "After a while we got to know each other better, tolerance turned into respect, and the day it hit me that we had somehow become friends in the process...I didn't think it could get any better than that, and it would be an honor to have something more..." 

"But?" Jim asked, hearing the hesitation in the softly spoken words. 

"I've never been in a relationship with a man before. Some members of society look down on me as it is, and being in a relationship with another man wouldn't exactly elevate me in their eyes. I'm your supervisor, add to that the fact that we would be in an interracial relationship..." 

Jim covered his face as Simon trailed off. He knew everything Simon had said was true. Even beyond that was the added factor of how such a relationship might affect Simon's own relationship with his son. There were other things to consider as well. Jim let his hands drop away from his face and stood, walking towards the balcony to face away from his friend. He stood stiffly, eyes closed, breathing deeply until he could trust himself to speak without giving away his anguish. 

"You're right Simon, I'm s-...I'm sorry I brought it up." He said around the tightness in his throat. 

"I'm not." 

The whispered words were spoken directly behind him and he had only a moment to wonder how Simon had gotten so close without detection, before arms slipped around his waist to draw him back into the large body behind him. 

"I want this Jim. I want _you_. But I want you to be aware also that we are not in a vacuum. There will be a lot of pulls on us in every which direction. But, I would like to try." 

Jim nodded as he stroked the arms that encircled his waist. In the door he could see their reflection. It should have looked strange to see him in the embrace of someone larger than himself. He knew many men who would have felt threatened by being in that situation. He just felt safe. It was an emotion he was for the most part unaccustomed to. With the exception of his Guide, there hadn't been anyone else to make him feel that way. 

He turned within the embrace so that he could look up at the other man. He smiled up at his friend bringing one hand up to cup the strong jaw. He looked into Simon's eyes a question in his gaze, eyes lighting up when the other man nodded slightly. Leaning up he brushed his lips lightly against his friend's, thrilling at the tingling sensation ignited by that simple kiss. Their first kiss. 

"I would like to try too Simon," he said decisively as he wrapped his arms around his friend. He laughed at the small rumble of laughter he could feel in the vibrations of the other man's chest pressed against his. It felt good to be held like this. Hopefully this was the beginning of many such scenes. They were both strong of will and hopefully that strength would buffer them against whatever curves were thrown at them to threaten their relationship. 

They stood like that for a long time, simply becoming accustomed being in each other's embrace, and to having the right to hold each other. There was great joy in knowing that their feelings were returned by the other person. 

Jim could feel his senses opening up to the other man. His own body drawing in the body heat of the larger man. His sense of touch crying out at the impediment of clothing. Simon's taste lingered on his lips and he was hungry for more of it. He leaned in again to press a soft kiss on the other man, almost as if he didn't trust that he wouldn't scare the other man off with his hunger. 

He needn't have worried. Simon allowed the soft kiss before shifting forward slightly to deepen it. Jim could feel Simon's arms shift from their position on his waist, one moving to his upper back to press their chests together. 

The other arm moved lower until he could feel a hand move across his hip to cup one buttock, the sensation causing him to moan in need and his sense of touch to rejoice. 

He could smell the other man's after-shave, the scent of the cigar Simon always carried. Normally the cigar would have bothered him, today it just served as a reminder that this was reality, that Simon really was there pressed against him in his living room. 

He gasped as the hand cupping his buttock shifted and pressed him closer to Simon's body so that their cocks pressed against one another. The delicious feel of Simon's hard length against him proved to be his undoing. With what could only be described as a growl, he pounced the other man. 

He could hear Simon laugh as he found himself pushed back further into the living room by one horny Sentinel. They somehow made it over to the couch without tripping over anything and landed on the sofa. Jim had just enough presence of mind to pull back so that he would not land squarely on the larger man. 

He shifted and lifted up slightly so that he could bear his weight on his knees and smiled down at the other man who lay panting beneath him. 

Simon lay beneath him, squirming slightly and then stilling. The smile on his face faded away though it never left his eyes. 

"I love you Jim" 

A swift inhalation of breath was Jim's only response for a moment before he swooped down to give Simon a gentle kiss, replete with all the words he couldn't say. He sat back up his eyes searching those of his friend for understanding, delighting in the full throaty laugh that followed. "I know you do Jim" Simon said. 

Jim smiled and after a moment of reflecting stood back, giving Simon a hand up and kissing him deeply. Somehow clothing was removed with no conscious thought on their part, until they once again lay on the sofa, naked flesh pressed to naked flesh. 

They rocked together at first unsure, but quickly gaining a rhythm as passion bred familiarity. 

The rightness of the situation did not escape either of them. It only added to their passion, until it could not climb any higher and Jim came, Simon's name a whisper on his lips as he heard the other man shout his completion. 

* * *

Movement beneath him alerted Jim that his lover was awake. He himself has just woken moments ago after hearing a whisper of sound in the apartment. Determining there was no one there he had focused in on his friend. He had listened to Simon's breathing to make sure he wasn't too heavy for the other man and finding no distress, stayed where he was, pressed against the larger body beneath his, relishing in the strong arm about his waist. 

The arm about his waist tightened pulling him closer, proving that his friend was indeed awake and Jim turned his head to plant a chaste kiss on Simon's cheek. The soft chuckle pleased him and he smiled, whispering an "I love you" as he settled his head back against Simon's shoulder. 

Sleep claimed them both again as they cuddled safely within one another's arms. 

* * *

Blair walked towards his car, humming softly unable to keep the smile from his face. 

It had been ten minutes since he had come from the loft to pick up the notebook he had erroneously left behind in the morning. He had stepped in quietly and walked a number of paces before he realized that the Sentinel was not up in the loft where he had assumed he would wind up. 

Instead he saw before him what could only be described as beautiful. Jim and Simon lay intertwined on the sofa, holding tightly to one another. 

Jim's face had a look of peace that had been missing in recent months and it made Blair's heart glad to see it now. When he noted Jim beginning to stir he left quickly not wanting to intrude on this private moment between them. Blair laughed softly to himself as he entered the car. 

_All is right in the world_ he thought to himself as he drove off. 

Back at the loft both men smiled softly as if they had heard his thought in their dreams and agreed with the truth of it. 

* * *

End A New Understanding.

 


End file.
